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Forgive and Forget
THE VENDOR'S DAUGHTER
Episodes 59 of The Vendor's Daughter
When I got to chapter 15 of Jen Sincero's book, "You are a Badass. How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life," I almost skipped it.
It was a chapter on forgiveness, called Forgive or Fester, and had an opening quote from Lily Tomlin that read, "forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."
When I saw that quote I loved it. I took a picture of it and sent it to some friends who I knew were struggling with forgiveness. I thought, "oh, this will be good for them."
I didn't think I needed to hear anything written on those 8 pages fro myself, who did I have to forgive?
And then, as I started to read, I fought back tears, thinking of two people I had been harboring ill feelings towards, not even realizing that I was allowing them to affect me, that the re-runs of my perceptions of how they wronged me were taking up that much storage space in my mind's DVR; if my brain was Spotify, my most played track would be the imaginary conversations I've ran over and over again, telling them exactly how they've wronged me and why they should feel like shit and grovel and my feed for forgiveness.
Jen Sincero goes on to write that "forgiveness is all about taking care of you, not the person you need to forgive. It's about putting your desire to feel good before your desire to be right....why do you care if they understand how lame they are or not - what good does that do you?
She gives eight tips on how to forgive; one of them she calls "fuggetaboutit," You see, you need to forgive AND then release.
I write and underline anything that really resonates with me while reading a book. My copy of "You are a Badass" has more G2 pilot navy blue ink on it than possibly any book I've ever read.
This book has improved my outlook on life, helped me wrestle some demons I didn't even know were in me and has made me rewrite some false stories I had been telling myself.
It's also made for some really interesting walks and conversations with my husband as we start to talk about how we can apply these principles in our own lives. I highly recommend. I also get up to 10% of the sell if you buy from the link above but trust me when I say I'd recommend it even if it weren't for the $0.89.